to my valentine, with love. --God

God wants us to honor Him. He wants us to put personal conveniences aside, lay our own ideas down, and get past our stubborn will to have and do things our way and in our time. God wants our obedience, not just lip service. It's one thing to say we'll honor Him but another thing entirely to actually do it. don't wait for the perfect day to start honoring God. make that choice today. don't think you're not doing what God called you to do just because things don't seem as glamourous as you thought they would be. Keep being obedient, keep looking for the next open door of opportunity, and above all else hold closely to our Lord. -- Lysa TerKeurst, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith"

i'll keep this terse as "it's a quarter-after one, i'm all alone and i ...." nevermind. i just got in from seeing Valentine's Day at the theatre, which is pretty much against everything i stand for: supporting this ridiculously over-commercialized day; paying $10 to see a movie; watching an entire movie without falling asleep; ESPECIALLY one that starts after 10?! overall, i was generally pleased with it, but i am neither siskel nor ebert, and this is not a movie review blog.

something they said towards the end of the movie really caught my attention, but that is neither here nor there, and googling valentine's day movie quotes yields more quotes about love for valentine's day or movie suggestions than it does anything relevant. another day.

i came home and took sabby out in the cold and just stood there, praying. its not wrong for me to love him, and i think i've been trying to convince myself to forget that i do. i think there's more wrong in that, but that's not here nor there, either. i just prayed that we're obediently following Him, and that with each decision we make, especially the little ones, it becomes easier to seek the Lord's path, and live in the light.

seeking refuge from the 20s, i came back inside, and walked past my bookcase. i remembered my stack of books: purpose driven life, the 5 love languages, francine rivers. i picked up what happens when women walk in faith (one of the likely 90% of books on my shelf that i have begun reading but never actually finished (in all areas outside of love, i have a huge problem with commitment)), and opened to this page. that excerpt was starred and bracketed (i also have a habit of over-highlighting riveting text).

i think it was a soft reminder of what this is about, from his side. its about honoring the Lord, choosing to selflessly be obedient today. i think i needed that reminder. it helps to keep me grounded. it helps to know its not that he didn't choose me. it's that he chose Him. i'm proud of that, and excited for that. and i pray that he is faithful in his choice to honor God, and that the Lord, in turn, is faithful in blessing His children whom He loves, dearly.

so in honor of valentine's day, i'm going to try to not consider my own misery, cynicism, or bitterness at the pepto-pink reminders of how very single i am. instead, i'm going to think about the greatest, most faithful valentine of all -- a God, who loved us so much, He died for us. a God, that loves us so much, he forgives us, cleanses us, redeems us, and considers us new. one that won't break things off with us 30 minutes before a valentine's date (guilty), or forgets the special day is coming up. His love is eternal, and it's the only one that won't let us down.

and for that, i am grateful. even though i forget that all the time. this year, and all the ones to come, He will be my valentine.