the cross.

i set my alarm for 5:45 this morning, but as it began to ring, the last thing i wanted to do was get out of bed. i'm not a morning person, in the slightest. it takes everything i have to get out of bed that early during the school year. but being still fresh to cap haitien, i wanted to make the most out of my first weekend here.

shortly after arriving, Tabitha told me they were planning on hiking up a mountain to this big cement white cross at the top, with apparently an amazing view of the entire city. remembering my time in St. Marc and our hikes to the fort, i was all over that idea. i love to see more of this country, and i'm pretty keen on hikes.*

12* of us piled into the truck and headed for the base of the mountain. we drove through downtown and parked at the edge of this little village that was built into the bottom of the mountainside. walking up the paved/sidewalk/road area, i was already feeling a little ... well, i guess it's called "out of shape." i've been told that this hike would be hard, but also that an 80 year old man with a cane passed another group as they sat for a break.

i am not going to lie: this may have been the hardest thing ive ever done. it was truly difficult. the path was steep, the rocks and gravel were so dry that the wrong placement with your footing could send you tumbling down. much of the path resembeled less than a goat trail, and we were fighting our way through cactus, thorny-bramble, and saw grass for much of the hike. i'm not fully confident i would ever do it again.

but then, finally (as in, i'm leaving out much of the 1 hr 45 min hike, because it would paint the picture of how we got passed by an old man with a cow, and several women and children), we (painfully, exhaustedly) reached the top. and wow, the view was incredible. you could see parts of this city you didnt even know existed. the entire coastline, the airport, this canal that lead to this random and large area of nothing but green. and the air, it was so cool that we actually had goosebumps. goosebumps! in HAITI! there was a cave through the rock at the tip of the mountain that was cut out on the end, and you could stare endlessly over the city a mile or two below us with the cool breeze blowing through.

and then, there was the cross. it was towering and white, and built by men that wouldve had to carry the cement bag by bag up the steep incline. it was a dedicated task, and it was beautiful.

what struck me the most as we sat and chatted and ooh'ed and ahhh'ed and ate our cliff bars and crackers was this woman that sat on a rock a few meters from us. with her hands raised and eyes closed, she loudly worshiped the Lord sitting right there. armed with lttle more than a bible and her rosery, she worshiped Him as if none of us were right there, as if nothing else mattered.

it was at that moment that my heart broke. this woman, had traveled all this distance in sandals to come worship at the cross, and here i was to just come and see the spectical. what a fan of jesus i had become; as she sat there as a true follower. it made me think about how often we do that in life: we come to "see" jesus. we even hike the really steep hills and fight through our own weakness to go and "see" him. but how many times do we actually realize that in all our efforts, we just want to stand and look and ooh and ahh, maybe throw Him a high five, and then walk right back down the mountain to be on our way? this woman hiked the distance with the intention of worshipping Him. she hiked the long, difficult, miles-long terrain with the intention of meeting with God, not just looking at Him. i was embarrassed by my jesus-tourism. seeing the sights and the city and the cross is not wrong, not in the slightest. God created the heavens and the earth, and i believe He takes delight when we take the time to notice the glory that they declare in His name. but it just made real to me the sacfrice that is required of us as believers, the sacrifice that is nothing compared to the cross.

that woman, although i know nothing more of her than she was a true worshipper* taught me much today. jesus used her as a reminder that when i come to Him, He doesn't want me to just point, and look, and take pictures of the granduer that i appreciate. He desires, and deserves, my intentional and sacrificial worship.


----


*except for that first one in st marc. when i was already sunburnt, so i wore long sleeves. and went after eating chocolate chip pancakes with plenty of syrup. and it was 100+ that day. and i nearly passed out. but i claim pro status to every other trip we took there.

*12 + the 10 Haitians we dropped off at the basketball courts downtown for practice. totally normal, btw.

*and wore a t-shirt that said "no one is the boss of me"