love is the thing

for the past 8 months or so, i've been attending the Tuesday night Bible study at my church, The Village Chapel.  as a church, we walk through books of the Bible, reading and gleaning from the whole context, rather than hearing sermons on a key text or a choice verse.  i love this about my church, and i feel that it does a great deal to help us walk in knowledge as to why we believe what we believe.

the first study i joined was on 1 Peter.  then we journeyed through a 12 week study on Hebrews.  more recently, we concluded a study on Ephesians.  because summer is an interesting time for people and churches alike, we've taken a different approach, and are doing the book study "The Reason for God" by Tim Keller as our Tuesday night study.

last week we explored Christianity and the Bible and their credibility in a culture that places a high value on reason and evidentiary science.  this week, we delved into the topic of other religions and how there is only one true path to God.

i've been attending TVC for almost 2 years, with a 4 month hiatus for the time i spent in Haiti.  in the time there, i don't think i have ever experienced such a rich and valuable dialogue as i did this evening.

don't get me wrong; i absolutely love our church.  the authenticity in the simplistic worship, the way we read through the Bible chapter by chapter, book by book.  the loving gentleness of Christ that is reflected in the way Kim brings our prayers and needs to the Lord; the genuine, patient-urgency Pastor Jim brings through each weeks teaching.

but tonight, i feel like something shifted; like revival began to knock at the century-old chapel's doors.  and it was magnificent.

maybe the move i felt was in my own heart; maybe it was palpable for others sitting, discussing, observing.  regardless, it was there.  and it overwhelmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes!

toward the end of our discussion, a woman stood up and said she had a question.  she said she is not necessarily a Christian, but that she would identify herself with Christian principals.  she has many friends that are agnostic, athiest, muslim, hindu.  her question was, "when people ask me am i a Christian, what does that mean?  what does it mean to 'be' a Christian?"

as i pondered, and listened to Pastor Jim's response, I was almost embarrassed that i didn't have an immediate clear-cut response already penned in my head.  but as i thought and reflected on what my relationship with the Lord has meant to me, my heart churned and pounded, and i could just sense God's presence through all the doubts and beliefs and faith in the room.

although i never had to verbally account for what being a Christian is for me, i figured it was still, if not only important, but rather imperative for me to define it.  so what better place.

at TVC, like many other churches or organizations, we have a motto.  our motto is this: love is the thing. and i guess that would be my response to her.  Love is central to what Christianity is all about.  yeah, there's the "love-your-neighbor thing," and the even higher, "love-God "thing, but even more inherent to our faith is that God-loves-us thing.  and if you really think about it, it is so absolutely crazy to think that our Creator, someone who made the Milky Way without effort, one that has seen the expanse of the world and every sunrise and sunset, would even care as much as to take care of our menial needs?  it's straight up ridiculous.  but to me, it is so crazy, that it just must be true.

love is central to our faith.  God loved us first.  out of His love for us, we are brought into unending grace.  as a response to that love and that grace, we develop a love for Him in return.  as a result of our love for Him, we should extend the same love and grace to every single person on the planet.  (notice i said should, lest we forget that Christians are human, and self-centered just like the rest of the planet.  it is so hard to break us from the nasty shell we come in!).  and that love for others, and our love of Christ, should draw others in, into a love they, too, can share with Him!

i felt God's heart for this group of vulnerable souls all throughout the discussion time.  when a new seeker confessed that she is in the exploratory stages of her faith, even saying she wouldn't even consider herself a believer yet.  rather than grieve for her, i felt my heart cart-wheel!  God is moving in her, FOR her!  He is drawing her near to Him, even in ways she might not recognize!  like showing up for a study about faith!  like seeking! and asking questions!  He's got a plan for that girl, and I can not wait for her to discover His redemptive love!

perhaps one of the best parts of tonight was the outgoing questions and comments from two young women that were visiting.  one of the girls, Brittany, asked the question, "why do we try to use scare-tactics (you're going to hell unless you convert!) to 'evangelize,' rather than share the Gospel of Love?"  her friend, Jasmine, stood up to answer.  her comments seriously made my heart squeal preach it sistah! and brought tears to my eyes.

brittany said she was just a babe in the faith, and there was much she didn't know yet.  and as a baby Christian, she's still dealing with the tension of not measuring up to perfection, failing Christ, and understanding that that is okay! that He will still love her!  she reminded us, that there is nothing any of us can do to drive that love away from us, that He will always extend that love and forgiveness, that mercy and grace regardless of how well or poor we perform.  Brittany said that sometimes, as mature Christians, we can forget what it's like to feel dirty.  we forget where we came from.  and in that, we often don't show that same love that is even hard for new Christians to comprehend, heck, i'm still trying to figure it out!  but in her honesty and vulnerability, in her newness of faith, i was blessed with a profound thought on how i've never even realized i've likely acted subconsciously.

she is right; we do forget.  i forget all the time what it was like to feel like a "sinner."  i was grateful for that reminder, that we need to dress the wound of the broken with the same gentleness that we once required.  mmm.  such good medicine for the soul.  thank you, jesus!

as she said, we forget what it was like.  in fact, i recounted my story for perhaps the first time ever, tonight.

i was young.  i feel like i was 5 or 6, although additional facts would place me in about 2nd grade.  to-may-to, to-mah-to.

i went to church with my best friend from elementary school, jessica.  my family didn't go to church, although we did a brief stint at the Kingdom Hall when i was about 4 or 5.  all i remember was wearing my first cardigan (because the meeting hall was so D cold!) and the cheese danishes at the convention (dee-lish!).

once, my sister and i got a children's Bible for Christmas.  we were so disappointed it wasn't a toy.  i think my sister scribbled in it with crayons.  i would've never done that.  i was a good child.  (or so my version of the story usually holds).

anyways, i remember sunday school because it was the first time i had ever been.  and also, because it was the first time i had heard about these 10 rules you had to follow to go to Heaven.  now, i don't know if this was part of a two week session reviewing the Old Testament, and relating it to the New, but all I know is I only got half the story.  and i.  was.  devastated.

all i knew, was that i was wretched.  honor my father and mother?  i knew i didn't always do that.  no lying?  uh oh!  but the cardinal sin for me was "thou shalt not steal."  i was convicted.  when i was three, i accidentally stole a pack of juicy fruit (or double-mint, i can't *quite* remember all the details!).  i honest-to-goodness did not realize i had done anything wrong.  but i had sinned.  and for this, i was damned to hell!  that is a tough cookie for any 7-year-old to swallow!

oh, i remember praying and praying and praying! i knew there was a God, even that young; I just knew it.  there may have been some influence on that at least at home, but i had never heard about Jesus.  or at least i don't remember it if I did.  all i know, is that I left that Sunday thinking about not only how cruddy i knew i was, but about how disappointed God must be in me for breaking His rules.  i was so scared about hell, and i begged for forgiveness all the time for the same silly sin.  the thing is, i never got the other half of the story!  i was so lost not knowing there was reconciliation for my sins! (note to any sunday-school curriculum developers, please, please PLEASE make sure you don't just teach the 10 commandments without talking about how JESUS comes to REPLACE the law! sincerely, redeemed-after-many-tortuous-years-of-guilt-and-shame).

once i found out about Jesus, it made SENSE to me!  i could never make up for that pack of gum i stole; or for that time i accidentally killed a frog while digging footers with my daddy for his new house in third grade (i'm tellin' ya, i had the biggest, guiltiest conscience as a kiddo!).  but the reconciliation, it clicked.  i knew i couldn't do it on my own.  i had already failed God, and at this rate, would fail him again by snack time.  and i knew he couldn't just forget what i've done; afterall, there were these rules that i had broken. but when i found out that the solution i had been hoping for actually existed!? i was elated.  but i don't think i realized what a big deal that was until the past 10 years or so.

as part of our study, we talked about the reason for pluralism, or even the reason religion existed in general.  from a very young age, i knew i was rotten.  even the goodie-two-shoes that i was proclaimed to be.  i knew i had a cruddy core, and nothing i could do could compensate for my failures.  i got that.  and i knew there had to be more.  that something had to exist beyond me.  to see any sunset and not wonder how something so magnificent could be on accident, to not question what purpose all of this life serves to be?  just knowing there was a God was not enough.  i guess i began my faith journey like the jews.  believing in the law, and recognizing my own inability to maintain it.  no other religion offers a means to bridge the gap in which we know we are dirty people, and God is a holy God.  and then, there was Jesus.  and he changed everything for me.  He brought redemption, and purpose, and forgiveness.

if you are reaching for something more, if you are left unsatisfied by your own mistakes and your inability to clean yourself up; come to Jesus.  His love is unending; His mercy flows free!  there is true freedom in His redemption.  and He has loved you, will love you, more than you could ever even imagine.