fresh

yuck. i hated that last post. i needed a fresh start.

voila! oh the joys of internet posting.

i need for this post to be two things: 

• i need to write. to release. to create.
• i want to talk about jesus. lots about jesus. i hope that's okay with you.  good. 

now that that is out of the way...

sunday.  ah, sunday was a glorious day.  i wore blue and white in honor of it being the day before my favorite holiday (and let's be real; 95% of my summer wardrobe is some sort of blue/white combination). 

• sunday was communion sunday at church.  we do this as a church family the first sunday of every month. i love this tradition.  i love how the holy spirit does so much work in our grimy hearts during this time.  i love the reminder of christ's body, the bread; the example his life was.  the reminder of the blood he shed on calvary, the wine, that reminds us it is by His sacrifice that we are forgiven.  its a mystical thing to me; how my heart gets it, but my head still doesn't quite understand.  i'm okay living in that tension though.

• we also talked about the story about the two sisters, mary and martha, and their interaction with jesus.  it was a pretty introspective time.  i've got some martha qualities that need some refining, but overall, think i can align with mary much of the time.  i love how she sat at jesus' feet, just listening. just being.  one thing i really took from the sermon was that being is greater than doing,  sitting at jesus' feet must precede action on our part. 

{some scripture notes:}

• with jesus > for jesus
• worship > working
• being > doing
• the "good" thing (serving jesus) can often distract us from the "great" thing (being in His presence)

sunday, i also missed haiti tremendously.  you see, saturday marked the 1-year anniversary of me returning to nashville from haiti.  i don't do well with anniversaries of things that make me sad.  my mind heart is a steel trap, and when i miss something, i miss it with aggressive adoration.  i read through some of my old haiti blogs, reminiscing and praying as my heart felt the distance of that year.  it was neat though: in that moment, an old friend i met there messaged me, and we wound up talking for a little while, which helped to bridge the two worlds.  i love how God always knows just what we need.

i spent a lot of the evening listening to worship music on pandora, and my heart was so full of joy that i literally (if not gracefully!) danced for jesus in my living room :) hopefully the neighbors didn't witness that. 

in preparation for THE greatest holiday on this side of the globe, i retreated to my attic, and spent some annual Patriotic QT with my sewing machine.  after a snaffu with the needle (which sent me to walmart for replacements!) i sat down to find that even a new needle didn't fix the issue!  something was severely wrong, and it would not stitch correctly or hold the stitch! it was extremely frustrating, and i tried everything i could to fix it.  so i prayed: "dear jesus, please help mend whatever is broken in this machine.  i don't have the money to replace it, and you know how much joy i get from being able to sew.  thank you for giving me this passion, and i ask in your name that you would set right whatever is wrong with this machine. amen."

and just like that, back to normal.  i love jesus! he longs to take care of even our smallest needs, even if they seem silly at the time!

i'm astounded at his goodness.  i am blessed beyond my own heart and mind can comprehend.  when i think about His love, i barely understand it, yet i know i am fully beneath it.  i want more from you Lord; not in a selfish, or unfulfilled way; but in a way that is not yet satisfied.  a hunger that is not yet placated. jesus, thank you for your love and mercy.