30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 3 - ... thankfulness.

is it redundant to be thankful for thankfulness?

i know its only day 3, so i don't want you to think, "oh no. she's caving. we've already lost her three days into this commitment, with some unoriginal post on thankfulness.  really?  that's all you've got?"


yes.  yes, it is all i have right now.  but roll with me for just a moment.

yesterday, i had a slightly aggravating day.  in fact, just trying to spell aggravating is enough to do the trick.  just little things here and there really worked to frustrate me.  its how i even fell asleep.

and it's definitely how i awoke, too.  y'all, i am a force to be reckoned with in the mornings.  i am not a happy camper if it is below 70 in my house, or the sun is not yet shining.  it's going to be a long winter already.  i have a bad habit of waking up angry: that its early, that my alarm is ringing, that my alarm didn't ring yet, that its cold, that its dark, that i'm sleepy, that i'm awake.  seriously, i could use counseling on the matter.

it was only mildly shocking to me that i woke up in the same funk i went to bed with.  but i totally didn't expect the tears on the way to work.  the uncontrollable kind, that well up from all angles of your eyes, and you don't know what you did to trigger them, but you'd do just about anything to take it back?

the second the tears hit, i almost slammed on the breaks and made a mad dash back home to jump back into bed and cry to jesus.  but, it was time to face the day and all this ugliness.  plus, it would've been too late to call in a sub.  and two personal days in a month might give off the suspiscion that i need clinical help.

so, i prayed, and sang praises.  but it really didn't restore the joy.  so i switched up my pandora station form kathryn scott to john foreman, and had a little pre-school-day, silent worship sesh.

with 18 monsters, precious little ones all vying for attention, usually selfishly, all day, it is bound to get slightly exhausting.  and we haven't been doing very well with our "favor your neighbor" deal i tried to sell at the beginning of the year.

but the tipping point for my heart, in measure of grace and mercy, was when i dismissed my kiddos one-by-one from the carpet.  i had them each name one thing they were thankful for.  (aha! i told you to hang with me there!)  one by one, they each declared their gratefulness.  me and God were pretty popular, topping most of the lists, with toys and nerf guns bringing up the rear.  i found myself choking back tears at their honesty; and i felt a little guilty that they were so thankful for me and most times i feel rather unworthy with how impatient and easily frustrated i can become.  but their answers brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

today, i am thankful for the sheer thankfulness of a 5-year-old, and their unassuming honesty.