yes, yes Lord.

I'm trading my sorrows,
I'm trading my shame.
I'm laying them down, for the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness,
I'm trading my pain.
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord.

We say, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord.
Yes, Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord.
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen.

i started singing this for no reason leaving my house earlier.  and i thought to myself, what can i trade in for joy?  what can i lay down at the cross where my sin was atoned for, to be covered in His blood and redeemed?

is it my impatience? my disdain for waking up in the morning? my frustrations with my neighbor and their friends outside of my window as i try to go to sleep?  can i lay down my anxiety over getting everything done this week? over making sure my report cards are accurate and complete?  the dread of my evaluation on Tuesday and the painstakingly monotonous process of writing my lesson plan?  what about the uneasiness that takes over before parent conferences on Thursday? can i lay that down too?

so often, we choose to tote around our baggage.  i know i am guilty of griping when it seems like too much heavy stuff is on my plate.  i'm not sure why grumbling and complaining about the negatives makes us feel better about them.  if i'm being an idealist, maybe it's our way of at least acknowledging them rather than naively pretending that they don't exist.  if i'm being a realist, maybe we simply enjoy the pity, even if it's from our own lips directed at our self.

so Jesus, tonight as i set my 5:35 alarm, i'm laying down my grumblings and asking you to create a renewed joy within my heart when i wake. remind me how blessed i am to serve a Father who loves me so dearly; children, whom you love so dearly, and to have faith that you are with me wherever and whatever i find myself.  i'm trading my anxieties for your strength and your joy, Lord.