Handstands

i promise i am not trying to take over your RSS feed.

but God just spoke to me. in cheerleader.

cheerleader, you ask? yep. He speaks that, too.

i don't even know how it started. i think, with a high kick. because perfectly sane people walk around their house (bedroom) doing high-kicks.

i chuckled, and scanned my walls. with the bed in the middle of the room, there isn't much free space. but there, if i closed my door... there's a hanging shoe rack. hmm. but there. the corner. there's nothing. and about 4 feet from the corner of the bed.

so, i did a hand stand.

after i led off my left leg, like always, it sort of pulled. okay, i get it. my 27-year-old body has very little on my 17-year-old self that used to do all sorts of crazy contortionist moves. but still, that out of shape?

i chuckled as i did a few more. and for no other reason aside from insanity, i decided, after at least 17 years of hand-standing against walls, i would try to lead with my right foot.

it was clumsy at first. and as my toes met at top-point, my left leg came down faster than my right went up. so i did it again. and low and behold, i didn't collapse on my face.

i stood in ready-position (toe pointed, hands above head) and looked in the mirror to my side and started laughing. a 27-year-old woman, in her empty house, doing handstands against the corner of her bedroom with the curtains wide open. dressed in a shirt i've had since high-school, dated Spring Break '85. this is just too comical to me. i swear i don't do this on a regular basis.

but God totally knew what He was doing. after no less than 20 handstands, i felt joy in my heart. and wisdom from a sage: after 17 years, you've done things this one way. in 5 minutes you changed everything, learned to lead opposite, and tried things a new way. and lo-and-behold, it worked. trust me. new is scary, but you won't (always) fall and land on your head. you can learn to do things you never dreamed of doing. things you never thought you could do differently. I am the wall behind you, I will steady you. I will keep you from tumbling backwards. I will remind you that with Me, everything on that secret-dreams list is possible. Scary, yes. But so was your first handstand. and you survived the scar on your leg where #152 cut to the bone. and you survived this one; 17 years later. I am with you. I will never leave you. Do not be discouraged, dismayed, or terrified. I have conquered fear by the cross. you were meant to live in freedom. to handstand. to cartwheel. to high-kick your way to heaven. find your joy in Me. and kick-off, this time with your right foot.

inspired handstanding.

thank you for that, Lord.