to be honest, most of the time, i never even knew what lent was. i'm not even sure i'm totally sure i know now. i thought it was about giving up french fries in the name of jesus.
jesus doesn't need my french fries. neither does my waistband, but that's a post for another day.
he doesn't need my caffeine any more than i do, nor do i think he cares if i'm abstaining from Facebook for a whole 40 days (and letting the world know about it, too; hey, i'm talking to myself here).
so last year, or the year before, or maybe before that (i've clearly paid attention), i gave up 'giving up.' i'm not saying we all should forget about lent and the discipline and self-denial that should come in sacrifice. i'm saying i should. it became about me. about what i gave up. about how good i was doing. about how strong i was. when we (i) are going through something challenging, we (i) want everyone to know about it. i was just like the hypocrite Jesus warned about in the Sermon on the Mount. i look miserable, i act miserable, or i show off and make it known. or even if i didn't go out of my way to make sure it was known i was fasting, boy, oh boy, did I not miss a beat in sharing when i had to politely decline a coke or a brownie.
since the fall of man, we have been set up to fail. the Bible is clear to not rely on our accolades, our list of works, 'lest any man should boast.' for all sin and fall short of the Glory of the Lord. to me, "giving up" something was just another thing I would either A) fail at, or B) boast in. it never made me feel closer to God, just slightly more religious than the girl next door that just walked in with Thin Mints.
I am NOT saying you shouldn't sacrifice. God is calling me to live in a
i debated and prayed about what my season of Lent should look like. the chubby part of me wanted to give up sweets. the not-well-rested part of me thought about giving up facebook. but the part of my heart, the tiny part that i've allocated to the Holy Spirit, reminded me those things still focused on me. they are good things. great resolutions. ambitious ideas. but they lacked Christ at the center.
right now, making time is a sacrifice. even making time for me is a sacrifice, one i'm not always willing to make. but as i thought and prayed about this, I knew the Lord was asking me for more time with Him. time spent in worship.
i'm not a musician, and as much as i would love to get lost in song, it happens about one out of every 55 times. fortunately, worship doesn't solely exists for those with a sweet song and good with guitar.
John 4 tells us we will worship in spirit and in truth. Romans 12 tells us to present our bodies as a holy and living sacrifice, which is a spiritual service of worship. Colossians 3 tells us whatever we do or say, to do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
so whether the argument is for coming and resting with jesus, or getting out there and doing more in His name, i concede. my only stake in this battle is to worship him with my mind, my soul, my body and my day-to-day life. as much as i need to do better, as much as i need to do better, i don't need to do anything. i need to open my life up, to fill it with more of Him, and to allow Him to bring perfection to my mind, soul, body, and life through moment-by-moment with Him.
one way i find myself able to worship Him in spirit and in truth is through writing. i delve into the word like I'm on a mission when I write. I write to share my love of Him, my personal difficulties, and how He has shown the path for my feet to traverse. how He has made a path where there was none. i learn more of His word, i meditate more on His promises. for me, to spend time drawing parallels from my life to His promises, and allowing myself to be vulnerable to share that for His namesake, is worship to Him.
so, in lieu of cutting something out, i'm adding more. more time with Him. more time in Scripture. more of my words to be about Him. it's not about doing more. it's about refocusing what I'm already doing, with Him in the center.
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