***
Foreword: This will be long and very long. i feel as if all parts are essential to the full picture.
Wednesday night, I stopped by my Mom's house before leaving for the weekend. She asked questions about Nashville, and I told her it was a beautiful city; non-chalantly saying, "i could live there," not actually thinking that would be the case, nor that she would take me literally.
Last Thursday afternoon, before leaving for my flight to Nashville, I was talking to Carly online. She told me that she thought i should move to Nashville for the summer and get a job as a nanny or something; she was trying to talk Shelley into it to. Figuring i really had nothing to lose, and assuming i dont get in to the ACP for teaching in May (which would mean I wouldnt start until August), then i said, hey why not, might as well.
On the way to the airport, I was talking to Eric about how much i loved Manatee County. How it is truly paradise and the perfect place to live. I could and would live here all my life, I would love to raise a family here, its the perfect location; close to Tampa and Sarasota but far enough away its not too crowded.
Friday and Saturday, I talked a lot to Mrs. Amy about the teaching program, and began to realize that starting in May or August would yield the same result: I wouldn't take on a teaching job until the fall of 2008 anyways because I feel it would be best for me to start fresh, and not in the midst of someone elses rules with someone else's students.
I kept randomly saying oh, i really should move here this summer. Jackie tried to talk me out of it because she had recently decided to move home after the semseter was over, meaning plenty of time to soak up some sun @ the beach together.
On Sunday morning, everything came to a climax. I guess you could say it started Saturday night when I decided to go to church with Jackie @ Grace Center instead of with Carly, although I had planned on attending Carly's church since talking to her on Thursday before i left. Anyway, I went to church with Jackie. By random chance, the man giving the sermon was not the typical pastor; his sermon was not the original one he had prepared. And he wasnt suposed to speak until they asked him to on that Wednesday. He said that he could have gone with the easy one he had originally planned, but that God had something else in mind and he knew he had to give what God was speaking to him.
Prior to even knowing all that, was morning worship. We sang 2 songs in an hour, and it was a really intimate experience with God. I began to pray that in some way, shape or form, I would be strong enough to make a step of faith in some direction, and just free fall, and trust that God would catch me and take care of me. I didn't know what all of that meant, or where it was leading me, but it was an honest prayer of my heart. I gave God all the aspects of my life: the teaching program, my soon to be new job, my friends/family/relationships with people, Paris. I knew i had to surrender each aspect to Him, so that he would bless them and guide me through them. Right after praying that, i cant remember the song, but it had something to do with "i give it all to you." the coincidence of it all made me smile, because i felt like i was right there with the Lord in the sense that i would pray that right before we would sing that.
The man giving the announcements asked us to reach our right hand out in front of us above our head. He then told us to reach around the back of our head and grab our chin. The whole congregation did it. He then said "thats how easy it is to obey God." We don't have to know how, or why, or the purpose, or the end result, we just have to take that initial step when he tells us to.
When the man, (name unbeknownst to me at this time) began to give the message, he started with scripture from Ezekiel 47:1-11 about being ankle deep in the river, then knee, then waist and the certain comfort levels of each. Waist deep is when it gets serious and we really have to trust. But when we are no longer able to touch, and we must swim across the river, is when God can really move us. Where the water flows fresh, we can live; but the water becomes stagnant in the marshes and swamps where the salt deposits.
He used this analogy in a way I vaguely remember; yet somehow completely understand in my heart. Its about allowing God to move us, but we must first committ to crossing the river.
He was from Kansas City. Considered himself a "Lifer": lived there forever, wanted to die there, couldnt imagine a better place. He had a good life, a great family, and everything was perfect. He had no perfectly good reason to ever leave. Until he went to Nashville for a visit and a year later, the most random of people began to prophesy and envision him moving to Nashville. His story was long, complex, and intriguing, not to mention, full of God-breathed coincidence. He talked about stepping out of our comfort zones, taking a leap of faith if you will (tie back to my original prayer) and trusting that God would take care of the rest of the details. Its not that the place we come from is bad by any standards, but its just not the best that God has for us. Once we take that first step and committ, God will bless us and reward us.
At this point, I feel like the whole sermon was being preached directly to me, and could have even been titled in the bulletin as "Rhiannon, move to Nashville." I was nervous and had a burning sensation throughout my entire body.
Then the speaker said, "There's someone here that will be making the move to Nashville within the next three months."
I felt my stomach drop, because I knew that it wasnt just someone. At this point, I knew that he was speaking of me. It was a feeling of convitction that only the Lord could give. An uneasy one, yet one that would require a leap of faith, obedience, sacrifice, and every ounce of trust my body was capable of creating.
in my heart i knew that this sermon was not helping my case for living in florida for the rest of my life.
I left church with a feeling inside me that I still don't fully understand. It was a complicated yet simple sense of peace. I was unnerved. i was stunned. I had no idea what was going on, yet i knew it was okay that I didnt know. I knew i had a decision to make.
the entire car ride home i talked to jackie about it, asking her if she thought i was crazy or making a rash decision or if i could really just say no to God. I had never felt so convicted, so sure of something in my life. And it was scary. Scary to think that i would give up free rent, a comfortable living situation, an easy and decently great paying job, a great location, warm weather, beautiful beaches, my family and great friends to trade it in for a cold big city i knew next to nothing about, in which i knew a handful of people, and had no idea where i would work, live, or what i would even do. yet at the same time, i was soooooo trusting and confident that the Lord would take care of the details.
I have never had to be so trusting of God in my life. I have never made a sacrifice so huge, or a decision so blind. But i still felt the most insane sense of peace and excitment i have ever experienced.
I really felt like i should move to nashville. i told jackie that i would actively search for a place to live for a week, and if i found it in that week then i would move up. if not, i would see it as a closed door. i talked to her about how one of my biggest struggles is in finding the happy medium between taking charge and taking control out of God's hands and putting it all on myself to find a place, or just being so trusting to the point I am just lazy and expect a miracle to fall on my lap. Finding the middle ground is something I have trouble doing. Afterall, no one is going to come up to me and say, by the way, my friend in Nashville needs a roommate, you know anyone?
at the end of that sentence, i asked Jackie, wait. did levi ever find a roommate? she said she knew he had been looking but wasnt sure if he ever found one. I asked her if she had his number, and she didnt. i said please dear jesus let his number be in my phone, and i didnt expect it to be because i dont think we have ever talked on the phone. but there it was, so i called him.
and just like that, my living situation was solved. i had given God a week, he delievered in two minutes.
She then asked me what i was going to do about Paris, a trip i had been eagerly planning for months. Those of you who know me know how passionate i am about traveling, europe, and france. this two week excursion on my own was something i was anxiously awaiting. i booked my tickets a few days before i left for nashville. the first reservations did not work out, so i bought them from another site. unlike the first bookings, i chose to buy insurance for some unknown reason, even telling my dad that i would doubt i would ever need it but if i did it would sue come in handy. this insurance allows me to cancel my flight within 10 days of purchase.i am able to cancel my trip. i feel that financially, the smartest decision would be to postpone the trip until the end of the summer.
when we got to carly's house and i told her the whole story, she said she knew i would wind up moving there all along. i never saw it coming. in fact, i still cant believe it.
my parents took the news rather well. my mom got upset but thats typical of a mother whos daughter is chosing to leave home. my dad said he couldnt hold it against me because i get that quality (of randomly moving or traveling) from him. he believes nashville holds better opportunities for me than palmetto anyways. 99% of the people i have shared my story with have been supportive, and once they hear how everything unfolded tell me to go as fast as i can.
please be praying for continued faith/trust in the Lord as i make this move. Also for increased clarity and understanding, as well as direction and guidance.
on Thursday, March 8th, i will be making the move to Nashville.
i know the Lord has opened doors for me that i must choose to walk through. I also must trust him to lead me through the right ones. i know that the path wont be as perfect and clear as it has started out to be. there will be obsticles and discouragement along the way. but i know that in the end, God has big plans for me in Nashville. i truly have no idea what they are, but i am by all means ready to find out.
Wednesday night, I stopped by my Mom's house before leaving for the weekend. She asked questions about Nashville, and I told her it was a beautiful city; non-chalantly saying, "i could live there," not actually thinking that would be the case, nor that she would take me literally.
Last Thursday afternoon, before leaving for my flight to Nashville, I was talking to Carly online. She told me that she thought i should move to Nashville for the summer and get a job as a nanny or something; she was trying to talk Shelley into it to. Figuring i really had nothing to lose, and assuming i dont get in to the ACP for teaching in May (which would mean I wouldnt start until August), then i said, hey why not, might as well.
On the way to the airport, I was talking to Eric about how much i loved Manatee County. How it is truly paradise and the perfect place to live. I could and would live here all my life, I would love to raise a family here, its the perfect location; close to Tampa and Sarasota but far enough away its not too crowded.
Friday and Saturday, I talked a lot to Mrs. Amy about the teaching program, and began to realize that starting in May or August would yield the same result: I wouldn't take on a teaching job until the fall of 2008 anyways because I feel it would be best for me to start fresh, and not in the midst of someone elses rules with someone else's students.
I kept randomly saying oh, i really should move here this summer. Jackie tried to talk me out of it because she had recently decided to move home after the semseter was over, meaning plenty of time to soak up some sun @ the beach together.
On Sunday morning, everything came to a climax. I guess you could say it started Saturday night when I decided to go to church with Jackie @ Grace Center instead of with Carly, although I had planned on attending Carly's church since talking to her on Thursday before i left. Anyway, I went to church with Jackie. By random chance, the man giving the sermon was not the typical pastor; his sermon was not the original one he had prepared. And he wasnt suposed to speak until they asked him to on that Wednesday. He said that he could have gone with the easy one he had originally planned, but that God had something else in mind and he knew he had to give what God was speaking to him.
Prior to even knowing all that, was morning worship. We sang 2 songs in an hour, and it was a really intimate experience with God. I began to pray that in some way, shape or form, I would be strong enough to make a step of faith in some direction, and just free fall, and trust that God would catch me and take care of me. I didn't know what all of that meant, or where it was leading me, but it was an honest prayer of my heart. I gave God all the aspects of my life: the teaching program, my soon to be new job, my friends/family/relationships with people, Paris. I knew i had to surrender each aspect to Him, so that he would bless them and guide me through them. Right after praying that, i cant remember the song, but it had something to do with "i give it all to you." the coincidence of it all made me smile, because i felt like i was right there with the Lord in the sense that i would pray that right before we would sing that.
The man giving the announcements asked us to reach our right hand out in front of us above our head. He then told us to reach around the back of our head and grab our chin. The whole congregation did it. He then said "thats how easy it is to obey God." We don't have to know how, or why, or the purpose, or the end result, we just have to take that initial step when he tells us to.
When the man, (name unbeknownst to me at this time) began to give the message, he started with scripture from Ezekiel 47:1-11 about being ankle deep in the river, then knee, then waist and the certain comfort levels of each. Waist deep is when it gets serious and we really have to trust. But when we are no longer able to touch, and we must swim across the river, is when God can really move us. Where the water flows fresh, we can live; but the water becomes stagnant in the marshes and swamps where the salt deposits.
He used this analogy in a way I vaguely remember; yet somehow completely understand in my heart. Its about allowing God to move us, but we must first committ to crossing the river.
He was from Kansas City. Considered himself a "Lifer": lived there forever, wanted to die there, couldnt imagine a better place. He had a good life, a great family, and everything was perfect. He had no perfectly good reason to ever leave. Until he went to Nashville for a visit and a year later, the most random of people began to prophesy and envision him moving to Nashville. His story was long, complex, and intriguing, not to mention, full of God-breathed coincidence. He talked about stepping out of our comfort zones, taking a leap of faith if you will (tie back to my original prayer) and trusting that God would take care of the rest of the details. Its not that the place we come from is bad by any standards, but its just not the best that God has for us. Once we take that first step and committ, God will bless us and reward us.
At this point, I feel like the whole sermon was being preached directly to me, and could have even been titled in the bulletin as "Rhiannon, move to Nashville." I was nervous and had a burning sensation throughout my entire body.
Then the speaker said, "There's someone here that will be making the move to Nashville within the next three months."
I felt my stomach drop, because I knew that it wasnt just someone. At this point, I knew that he was speaking of me. It was a feeling of convitction that only the Lord could give. An uneasy one, yet one that would require a leap of faith, obedience, sacrifice, and every ounce of trust my body was capable of creating.
in my heart i knew that this sermon was not helping my case for living in florida for the rest of my life.
I left church with a feeling inside me that I still don't fully understand. It was a complicated yet simple sense of peace. I was unnerved. i was stunned. I had no idea what was going on, yet i knew it was okay that I didnt know. I knew i had a decision to make.
the entire car ride home i talked to jackie about it, asking her if she thought i was crazy or making a rash decision or if i could really just say no to God. I had never felt so convicted, so sure of something in my life. And it was scary. Scary to think that i would give up free rent, a comfortable living situation, an easy and decently great paying job, a great location, warm weather, beautiful beaches, my family and great friends to trade it in for a cold big city i knew next to nothing about, in which i knew a handful of people, and had no idea where i would work, live, or what i would even do. yet at the same time, i was soooooo trusting and confident that the Lord would take care of the details.
I have never had to be so trusting of God in my life. I have never made a sacrifice so huge, or a decision so blind. But i still felt the most insane sense of peace and excitment i have ever experienced.
I really felt like i should move to nashville. i told jackie that i would actively search for a place to live for a week, and if i found it in that week then i would move up. if not, i would see it as a closed door. i talked to her about how one of my biggest struggles is in finding the happy medium between taking charge and taking control out of God's hands and putting it all on myself to find a place, or just being so trusting to the point I am just lazy and expect a miracle to fall on my lap. Finding the middle ground is something I have trouble doing. Afterall, no one is going to come up to me and say, by the way, my friend in Nashville needs a roommate, you know anyone?
at the end of that sentence, i asked Jackie, wait. did levi ever find a roommate? she said she knew he had been looking but wasnt sure if he ever found one. I asked her if she had his number, and she didnt. i said please dear jesus let his number be in my phone, and i didnt expect it to be because i dont think we have ever talked on the phone. but there it was, so i called him.
and just like that, my living situation was solved. i had given God a week, he delievered in two minutes.
She then asked me what i was going to do about Paris, a trip i had been eagerly planning for months. Those of you who know me know how passionate i am about traveling, europe, and france. this two week excursion on my own was something i was anxiously awaiting. i booked my tickets a few days before i left for nashville. the first reservations did not work out, so i bought them from another site. unlike the first bookings, i chose to buy insurance for some unknown reason, even telling my dad that i would doubt i would ever need it but if i did it would sue come in handy. this insurance allows me to cancel my flight within 10 days of purchase.i am able to cancel my trip. i feel that financially, the smartest decision would be to postpone the trip until the end of the summer.
when we got to carly's house and i told her the whole story, she said she knew i would wind up moving there all along. i never saw it coming. in fact, i still cant believe it.
my parents took the news rather well. my mom got upset but thats typical of a mother whos daughter is chosing to leave home. my dad said he couldnt hold it against me because i get that quality (of randomly moving or traveling) from him. he believes nashville holds better opportunities for me than palmetto anyways. 99% of the people i have shared my story with have been supportive, and once they hear how everything unfolded tell me to go as fast as i can.
please be praying for continued faith/trust in the Lord as i make this move. Also for increased clarity and understanding, as well as direction and guidance.
on Thursday, March 8th, i will be making the move to Nashville.
i know the Lord has opened doors for me that i must choose to walk through. I also must trust him to lead me through the right ones. i know that the path wont be as perfect and clear as it has started out to be. there will be obsticles and discouragement along the way. but i know that in the end, God has big plans for me in Nashville. i truly have no idea what they are, but i am by all means ready to find out.
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. -Alan Cohen
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