honesty is the best policy. unless you have USAA insurance.

as a girl, comparing ourselves to others comes just about as naturally as being emotional, developing an affinity for chocolate, or pairing the right shoes with the perfect dress. by comparison, we usual don't stack up to our competition, and often times, we use that as motivation, even if an ill-fitted practice, to be better or do better at something. i've often heard, and even repeated, that girls don't glam up when they go out to impress the guys; they do to outshine the girls. you're only as (insert superlative here) as the friends you keep doesn't really hold much weight when you're talking about self-image. and i speak beyond physical looks, height, weight, and dress. for girls, it goes much deeper.

everything around us has taught us that we aren't good enough. and, for starters, i hate the word enough. it implies that you're not only not reaching absolute perfection, but that you're barely, merely scraping by. it recommends the bare minimum, which in turn, only makes you feel like you've reached the same.

there's proactive, if you skin isn't clear enough. diet supplements for those whom can't lose enough on their own. ritzy wedding shows for those that don't have enough money to dream about. feel-good movies aimed at keeping one a hopelessly in love with the idea for those whose lives aren't romantic enough (guilty as charged; i watched confessions of a shopaholic, which suggests i don't shop nearly enough).

but by who's standards are we deemed good enough?

our friends? our families? the celebutantes parading across celebreality tv? to be honest, i don't think its the outside world judging us. i think we are most guilty, judging ourselves, based on what we judge in others. i find myself participating everytime i turn on the tv. okay, so i don't watch tv that much; but any media outlet. anytime i go to the mall; look at an ad on Express; any time i stalk through engagement/wedding/baby photos on facebook. she wore that? he's dating her? she lost how much?! i wish i was that tan. she's too blonde/tall/thin/annoying/photogenic/social/alive. I find that most of the time, i'm more or less comparing myself to what i see or experience. compared to half the people i know back home, i'm too old to not be married. looking at so-and-so's photos, i'm too big compared to my itty-bitty friends. i wish i had hair like the girl in that movie. i wish i had that love story. i want a british accent. bottom line: i'm not good enough.

unless were deaf and blind, it's a lie we've been fed from the time we started picking teams in elementary phys ed. i'm just not good enough (the way that i am).

but the truth is, we are. "for we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." did you hear that? You are God's masterpiece. there is no mistake in our creation when the Lord has fashioned us as his masterpiece. each part of our creation is an explicit calculation for his plans in us. fortunately, as the Lord told samuel, although "people judge by outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart."

when i struggled deeply with acne and depression a few years back, i was devastated. i couldn't understand why the Lord would allow me to go through such a dark and frustrating time. but looking back on email correspondence with christina, as i cried to her with raw, unabashed emotion, i see what the Lord has brought me through. although ugly, and mean, and vain, what an experience (as self-centered as it sounds) to endure. i love that we got to share in that pain together. what a wonderful friend; the encouragement and deep sympathy she offered.

i wish we would learn not to compare ourselves to others, or judge ourselves on the basis if we're good enough. i wish i would stop beating myself up over not having long enough hair, a pretty enough smile, smooth enough complexion, tan enough skin, a chic enough wardrobe, or a small enough waistline.

fortunately, jesus wasn't sacrificed for only those that are good enough to receive it. his life was given, he paid the price, for all of us-- the flawed included. Romans 5:7-10 reminds us that most people wouldn't be willing to do for an upright person, although someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. but God showed His great love for us and sent Jesus to die for all of us, sinners. i'm thankful that his love isn't exclusive to the righteous religious or those of us who have it figured out.

but that doesn't negate the fact that the majority of us, even if we are, have a hard time feeling beautiful.

Paul charges us in 1 peter 3:3-5 to focus on our inner beauty, as it is most pleasing to the Lord:

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful."

i'm challenging myself to rest assured in my beauty and worth in the Lord. to flaunt my love and selflessness instead of prada or gucci. to carry my cross instead of a pricey, yet worthless handbag. to let my spirit and the glory of the Lord shine brighter than two-carats on my left hand.

afterall, "beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise." (Proverbs 31:30)