a rise from the monday-ne

humbling and encouraging, one of my little ones broke the news to me monday morning:

"Ms. DeBaylo, you're not getting mad!"

taken aback, i scoffed and said, "what do you mean 'i'm not getting mad'?'

after a discourse, he arrived at the conclusion (on his own!) that i get mad and yell when i can't be heard. and i can't be heard because they talk to much.

ah the wisdom of a child.

what struck me most, however, was that they noticed. they noticed i was different. that i was slow to anger. kind-hearted. gentle. that i was enjoying my time with them that morning. little did they know, jesus had answered a prayer for them.

you see, it's been below freezing for what seems like the longest winter on the books. the sun has taken its mid-day siesta and vowed to not return until well after the groundhog had deemed it appropriate. and i've been sick, in bed, for 2 weeks with an ear infection and sinus infection. every waking moment was spent in the classroom; the rest, in solace.

long story short: seasonal depression has been driving my mood. to negativeville.

so monday morning, getting on the interstate to head to work, i cried out to God.

jesus, please. take this cup from me. the sickness, the misery, the negativity. replace it with your joy. your strength. your love. allow me to be patient. slow to anger. kind and gentle-hearted. allow a superfluous amount of joy to manifest in my teaching. remind me that i love my job. that i can find joy in the day-to-day. allow today to be different. this week to be different. even here, in this moment, i struggle to have hope. to have joy. replace that with your outpouring of grace.

so when my little trouble maker hit the nail on the head (about their behavior) and also recognized a change in my demeanor, i was remarkably encouraged. humbled, too; that my negativity had been transparent enough for a 5 year old to discern. nevertheless, those kids witnessed the transformational power and love of Christ, whether they know it or not.

and that, my friends, was the best monday i've had all year. (i even left before my self-mandated monday=late day, AND got to the gym ... all before Famlee dinner!)

his mercies are new every morning. amen. i'll need them, for sure.