voyageur.

i'm getting that feeling again.

the one that starts with an unscratchable itch on my feet, and works its way up to a burn in my heart and a pit in my throat.

i can't place it, but it's as magnetic and effortless as my draw to jesus.  it's as if He is calling, and i can't even hear it, but just like the tides, i ebb towards His shore.

i peruse career listings for organizations both highly-esteemed and greatly impactful, at job opportunities as rare and coveted as that blue hope diamond from titanic.  that flame under my heart in the fire pit of my stomach catches a new breeze and grows, fanning outward, making my cheeks hot.

to go, to serve, to live the life i have imagined as thoreau once challenged me; i yearn for these things, as if i know what i am missing. as if i've tasted and seen and long for what once was, although it never has been.

maybe that is why it is called wanderlust; there's an invisible draw to the unknown.  perhaps a chemical attraction to a life i have only imagined, the way a woman is attracted to a man she does not know, only to have the attraction fade with the mystery when things become familiar and life is once again mundane.

there's little purpose behind the prose;  just verbose snip-its of my mind as i try to sort through the ash and embers left behind under my heart.