holiday hiatus

eek. it has been almost a full 3 weeks since i've posted, and who knows how long before that it was that i actually read anything in my blogfeed!  i don't know about you, but the last two weeks of work before break were absolutely HEINOUS! so much stuff that literally, some of it just did not get done in time!  slash, too much to even begin to pack it ALL in!

speaking of packing, that didn't even happen until the DAY i was leaving.  but some sort of miracle occurred. the students left, the parents cleaned, and i packed up my things to go and left school at 10:30.  and for the first time this year, perhaps even longer, i did not feel rushed.

i got home. cleaned the kitchen. washed my linens. cleaned out the refrigerator??? put away laundry?????


and i did it all without rushing to get through it.  the thing that was even more strange?  i enjoyed it.  every. bit. of. it.

i didn't force myself to slow down, nor did i really even invite myself to it.  I just sat down and opened my eyes and said, "whats the rush?"  and realized, there is none.

not to say that my entire christmas break was spent with such an outlook, but i'm going to try to have a similar perspective going into the new year.

beautiful things

you make me new, you are making me new. -- gungor, beautiful things

i'm half-laughing, half-crying on the way to the Salvation Army Community Center in East Nashville on Saturday.  i certainly had no idea what i was doing, and the reality that i had no business even being there began to plant seeds of doubt in my heart on Friday night.  i considered the options: hoping for illness to render me hospital bound (true story).  calling in "sick."  or showing up, humbled and with a teachable heart.

i wish i could say option three sounded the most appealing, but ...

so, i'm armed with two trips-worth of pvc pipe.  a king-sized sheet.  christmas lights.  a coffee-filter flash diffuser.

and somehow, it all became a photo studio.  even more miraculously, somehow, i showed up-- humbled, with a teachable heart.

you make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.


with eagerness, i took a moment to watch everything come together around me.  the man, helping me iron the wrinkles out of my brand new sheet backdrop.  the teenage boy that ran to find duct tape to ghetto rig hang my ghetto-sheet  back drop.  his brother and dad that helped to string the christmas lights intentional, bokeh-inspired back-lit ambience.  the other photographer, Jill, that so generously allowed me to use her large soft-box, as opposed to my puny studio spotlight.  He works all things together for the good of those that love Him, i thought to myself.  an abundance of gratefulness began to swell in my heart for this moment.

and i hadn't even fired a single shot yet.

then, the families came.  and after the first mom looked at the photo on the screen of my camera and said, "that one there looks real nice," with sincere gratitude and joy, my heart shattered into thousands of tiny shards, like a glass ornament colliding with the ground, but only better.  far, far better.

the families had nothing.  or next to it.  many of them showed up in sweatpants, hand-me down rags-to-riches, and even shirts with holes in them.  they didn't care.  the pride wasn't in their appearance (although many did come color-coordinated, so you know they tried so very hard to look their best).  the pride, and joy, was in the photo.  a moment, captured forever, with all the siblings, or multi-generational, or with auntie or nephew or cousins.  the laughter and smiles and joy was so palpable that it was indeed shared with me over the viewing of their snapshot.

the smiles in the photos weren't forced; they were thankful.  they were joyful.  they were beautiful.


you make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.


out of nothing, He made something happen.  He brought beauty to life.

blogover

hi, my name is rhiannon. and i am a recovering blogger.  i went on a binge (30 days of Thankfulness ... at least, it was supposed to be 30 days worth...) and woke up with a huge blog-over.  i swore i would never blog again.  i just couldn't; it was too painful.  but as you can tell, here i am again... so, here goes nothing.

in the time since my last post, God has continued to bring me into new, exciting, and terrifying territory.  the funny thing is, i never realized it would be on familiar ground that He would walk me into new things.   i thought for a new season to come, that i must say goodbye to the old, and to Nashville.  but, at least at this point, i don't think he's leading me away from the city; rather, he seems to be deepening and spreading my roots across this town, in a way that a tree grows strong and fortified.

regardless of what comes next, Pastor Jim said something today that really allowed me to connect to this season:  We must first walk in obedience in the things we know we've been called to, and He will lead us from there.  it's not about running off to another land to find where I am meant to be: it is sewing into where I am right now, and seeing where God might lead me off to.  it's not seeking out a purpose or a passion or even a partner to run this race with.  it's investing in those he has already blessed me with, and watching as they blossom into beautiful things.  it's not about having a broad bucket-list of items checked off by the time i'm thirty; but rather, its about how deep i grew into the fields in which i'm already involved.

God has truly been amazing me as of lately.  by bounty of blessing, to rewarded with responsibility, He certainly knows the plans He has for me.  I needn't be afraid; for the Lord God is with me, wherever I shall go.