we are clouds

just the other evening, i was driving east.

unable to see the setting sun behind me in the west, i was still astonished by its beauty reflected in the clouds in front of me.

at that moment, i thought of how even when the Son is not in front of us, we can still see His glory.

i thought harder; there has to be a deeper life metaphor.

this morning, i got it.

we are to be the clouds.

to those that are not looking at the Son, we are to be the clouds.

His light should be reflected in us; His majesty, seen in us, by those facing us.

when others are turned away from Him, our visage should be nothing less than the magnificent glow of His glory.

walking with the father and conquering fears.

i don't know when i became so fearful. of failing. of dying. of losing my hair. of a host of other things. but this morning, it finally dawned on me, that of all the things that have been stressing me out or getting me down, its actually the fear of those things; a rather irrational one at that.

the bible talks a lot about fear, much of which i've commented before on as being a healthy, rational fear (or reverence) of the Lord. but the other type of fear is addressed briefly, and quite bluntly, in 1 John 4:18 -- "such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear." it continues to say in verse 19 that if we are afraid, it shows that we have yet to experience perfect love.

well, i'm far from perfect. so what is this love that john talks about? its certainly nothing i've been able to fully give nor receive. thats because this type of love, this perfect love, is the love of God the Father and is obtainable through God the Father. the verse prior tells us that "as we live in God, our love grows more perfect." what a great and comforting message for me, because i know i could sure use some perfecting.

because this perfect love has yet to be perfected in us, we give way to fear. we are born in the world after all. in my own personal opinion and experience, i've found that although fear is avoidable by putting our trust and hopes in the Lord (alone), we are hardly isolated from it and its ramifications. fear can be devastating. it can devour us whole, or leave us so chewed to shreds that we may wish that we had been. fear prevents us from taking on the task that God has given us, even causes us to forget what He has spoken to us...

... and this is why fear is the number one tool of the enemy. the enemy doesn't even have to attack or harm us, and he gets away with murder when he instills fear in our hearts. when we are fearful, everything suffers: from our emotions and interactions, to our productivity and output. fear prevents us from being, or doing, 100% of what God has called us to.

so, how do we combat that? through prayer, initially. john continues on to tell us in chapter 5 that "we are confident that he hears us, whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us anything that we ask for." I am so thankful that I live to serve a Heavenly Father that hears my cries and answers my prayers. He will deliver us from our fears if we just ask.

secondly, remember that part about "perfect love casting out all fear"? we arrive at a more perfect love by living in God and having our love grow more perfect. the more we choose to get to know God, the more we serve Him and love Him, our fears will decrease. our confidence and strength will be that of the Father's; and we will learn that the enemies tactics never hold any footing.

walking with the father and conquering fears.

my name is rhiannon, and i'm a hypochondriac.

i'm also afraid to go to sleep, because my throat feels like it's closing off. and now theres this sharp pain in my chest... where my heart is... and according to webmd, my intense headache is a brain aneurism waiting to happen.

i am fully convinced that there is something massively wrong with my body. i feel like i haven't felt totally well since i started having health issues in college 5 years ago. because of that, i've become fully convinced that there is something wrong. like that swollen lymph node at the base of my skull.

why are we driven by fear (the noun), to fear (the verb)? why are we so easily persuaded that just because we can't see anything wrong on the outside, that things are terribly catastrophic underneath the surface? where has our hope, our faith, gone? we are so quick to be rattled by fear, yet it takes so long (and often, so many attempts) to stand secure in the truth and faithful provision of our Father. why is that? why, when we've seen his provision and faithfulness time and time again, evident in our own lives and the lives of others, are we so quick to forget and become fearful?

"'til He returns, or calls me home, here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand."